Adventures of the World’s Angriest Robot part 8 - For Tonight, You're Only Here to Know
Page 1
Splash panel: Robot and Destroyer running down the steps of the front porch. Destroyer looks giddy and excited, almost like a kid on Christmas morning. Robot has a golf bag over his shoulder, filled with golf clubs, bats, several guns, swords, just go crazy with weapons. He is handing a bat to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Let me get this right. I have to sacrifice a whole bunch of zombies to the gods?
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Pretty much.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: That’s kind of against my religion.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Let me put it this way. You’re going to get the chance to kill hundreds, maybe thousands, of zombies in every way you have ever dreamed of killing them.
Zoom in panel: Robot’s hand-off of the bat to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: You talked me into it. Now hand me that fucking bat.
Page 2
Panel 1: Destroyer is in a baseball stance, wiggling the bat and getting ready to swing as we see Robot behind him.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: And what religion are you, anyway?
Panel 2: Destroyer is swinging as hard as he can, which is pretty hard, and is really concentrating. He is knocking the head of a zombie off with blood spraying everywhere.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: You know I was raised Catholic.
Panel 3: A really long, skinny panel. I see this one between the first two, in the center of the page. It should show the house and stick figures of Robot, Destroyer, and zombies. We should see the head flying very fast and very far.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I would like to go to a church where they let you speak in tongues and handle snakes.
WORD BALLOON
ZOMBIE: Hargggggggggggg!
Panel 4: Robot is screaming at Destroyer so that he remembers to dedicate his sacrifice to the gods.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Yes, because it really makes sense from a faith perspective to allow venomous snakes to bit you. Now dedicate your kill, asshole!
Panel 5: Destroyer yelling back as he hits another zombie on the top of the head, causing it’s eyeballs to explode and brains to come out of his mouth.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, this zombie’s death is for your glory. Happy? And who are you to tell me how to celebrate my special relationship with the Creator?
Page 3
Panel 1: Destroyer is lifting the bat between another zombie’s legs, destroying its balls. He looks as happy as he ever has in his entire life.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I destroy your balls for Zeus!
Panel 2: Destroyer yelling for a golf club. The zombie has dropped down to all fours and is throwing up blood.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Hey, this is fun! Throw me a golf club.
Panel 3: Robot looking embarrassed as he tosses Destroyer a 9 iron.
Panel 4: Destroyer preparing a golf swing.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Hallowed Zeus, do you love golf as much as I do?
Panel 5: Giant swing, like a hockey slap shot, as the head flies at us, screaming and mouth spraying blood.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Because that one is for you, big guy.
WORD BALLOON
ZOMBIE: Bwwwwwwaaaaa!
Panel 6: Robot watching the head goes off into the distance.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I see you overcame your religious issues pretty quickly. Nice distance.
Page 4
Panel 1: Robot is revving a chainsaw. Destroyer is looking back at him. They are about five feet apart.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Throw me that thing.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I’ll just hand it to you.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Just throw it, you fuck!
SFX: REV! REV! VROOM!
Panel 2: Robot tosses the chainsaw to Destroyer.
Panel 3: Who, of course, misses it and it cuts off his right hand, spraying blood everywhere.
SFX: Zzzzzzt!
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: AARRRH! You did that on fucking purpose!
Panel 4: Robot throws a beer to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Think fast, asshole!
Panel 5: The beer bounces off of Destroyer’s mask as he tries to catch it with his bloody stump.
SFX: THUNK!
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: What the…
Page 5
Multiple small action panels: Destroyer opens the beer with his good hand. It foams and explodes, right in a zombie’s face. As he drinks the beer, he picks up the chainsaw and severs the zombie’s head.
2 larger panels on the bottom
Panel 1: Destroyer yelling to Robot as he throws the chainsaw right through a zombie’s head, splitting it in half, with brains and gore going everywhere. We can see Destroyer’s hand growing back slowly over the next few panels.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: That one is, again, for Zeus. Hey, Doltron, are you just going to sit there?
Panel 2: Robot is throwing a grenade launcher to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I don’t have a soul, so I can’t make sacrifices. Catch this, if you can.
Page 6
Panel 1: Tall, skinny panel that shows a ton of zombies coming across the field toward Robot’s house. Smaller figures of Robot and Destroyer, as well as the dead bodies of zombies all around them.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, for all you do…
Panel 2: Heroic action shot of Destroyer firing a bunch of grenades.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: these blown-up real good zombies are for you.
Multiple panels: Many zombies exploding. Heads, arms, legs, bodies – whatever dreams you have ever had of illustrating zombies dying from grenades, use them here and go wild.
Page 7
Panel 1: Zombies in various states of smoking, flaming death are staggering around as Robot and Destroyer run down the steps toward a car.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Let’s find more of these to kill.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Not that I’m complaining, but when is enough death enough?
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: You’ll know when you find out.
Panel 2: Robot holds up the keys to the car.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: And to be nice, you can even drive. Promise me this won’t end up like last time.
Panel 3: Destroyer looking innocent, but he is covered in blood and gore.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I swear that it will not end up like last time.
Panel 4: The car zooms out at high speed. Robot looks concerned. He has his seatbelt on, but obviously, Destroyer doesn’t. As they are pulling out, they hit a zombie and he is sprayed all over the front of the car.
Page 8
Panel 1: Inside the car, we see Destroyer driving and Robot yelling. The windshield is completely blocked with blood and gore.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: This is going to be exactly like last time!
Panel 2: Same panel, but now the wipers have cleaned some of the blood.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Didn’t I fucking promise you?
Panel 3: The car runs right over a zombie, spraying more gore everywhere.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, I hope you enjoyed that, because my friend is worried about his car, so that was the last one I’ll hit with this fine automobile.
Panel 4: Destroyer talking as he drives. This needs to be a bigger panel to accommodate all of the dialogue. We see this through Robot’s POV.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Why are we fighting zombies all the time now? Do you remember when ninjas were hot? I hated that shit. Always getting stabbed with arrows and swords. Ridiculous. Now, ninja zombies. That would fucking suck.
ROBOT SCREEN
MUTE MODE ACTIVATED
INITIATING SLEEP SEQUENCE IN 3.2.1
Page 9
Panel 1: The car is pulling up to a major downtown area. We can see zombies everywhere, all around the car, as they are destroying and milling about many landmarks, like a fake Starbucks, McDonald’s, a movie theater, etc. A helicopter can be seen in the skyline.
CAPTION
A few miles and many f-bombs later…
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I’ve always wanted to do this!
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Zzzz…what?!?
Panel 2: Destroyer is holding a gun and driving. He looks very proud of himself.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Shoot and drive, bitch.
Panel 3: Robot is trying to stop him.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Do you not understand physics? Ballistics? No!
Small panel 4-6: First panel is heroic, with Destroyer firing the gun. In the next, he realizes that something is wrong. In the next, I want to convey that shooting the gun has made his arm fly backwards and affected his driving. Obviously, firing a gun with major kick can do that (like, let’s say, a Ruger Superblackhawk). This is my commentary on people always firing guns while they drive in movies and comics. I hate that shit!
SFX: BLAM!
Small panel 7: The car swerves and wrecks right into the Starbucks.
SFX: KA-CRASH!
Page 10
Panel 1: The zombies are all staring into the smoking husk of the Starbucks. A car tire is on the ground and smoke is everywhere.
Small panel in between these panels: The helicopter, with a cameraman hanging out of it.
Panel 2: Similar panel, but with Robot and Destroyer jumping out of the hole in the side of the building. Destroyer looks happy as hell to be where he is, Robot looks pissed off.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: Everyone one of you zombie fucks is dead and it’s all for the number one god up there on Mount Olympus, my man Zeus!
Page 11
Panel 1: A TV monitor on a satellite that looks suspiciously like the old 70s JLA era. There are numerous versions of Ultiman walking around (like the Superman robots in the Fortress of Solitude). We only see them from afar, not in focus, to set up the big reveal in panel 4. On the TV is Destroyer ripping off a zombie’s head with his bare hands.
WORD BALLOON
TV: …where downtown, we see what appears to be former Super Police member The Destroyer viciously assaulting several undead people…
Panel 2: We zoom in tighter into the monitor, where we see Destroyer using two cars to smash a zombie’s head.
WORD BALLOON
TV: We urge our more sensitive viewers to look away from this scene.
Panel 3: And in the final monitor shot, Destroyer has multiple zombies’ heads inside a car door and is repeatedly slamming the door shut, spaying himself with a fountain of blood.
WORD BALLOON
TV: I think I can read his lips. It looks like, you fucking pud…oh, sorry, we’re on network? Oh Jesus, my career…
Panel 4: Large panel, revealing Ultiman. He looks as pissed off as a person can ever get. He is crunching his fingers into the arms of his throne as he sits and watches the monitor. The many identical robots around him all look very concerned.
WORD BALLOON
ULTIMAN: Those are…were…human beings. That…that…thing. I’ve let him go for now. But this…this is…this is intolerable.
Page 12
Panel 1: Large panel of Robot and Destroyer on top of a giant skyscraper. There are zombies coming out of a stairwell behind them, the helicopter overhead, and zombies climbing up the building as they form a giant undead human tower. Destroyer is kicking a zombie off of the skyscraper as Robot is holding a zombie above his head.
CAPTION
Even more F-bombs and gratuitous gore later…
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, I swear, this is the last one…
Panel 2: Robot and Destroyer start running across the rooftop as zombies begin to spill over from every side, overtaking the roof. Robot is looking at a readout on his wrist.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I didn’t think it would take so long. But, seeing as how they are undead, I can understand why. Oh, get ready to jump off the roof.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Jump off the roof?
Panel 3: Robot grabs Destroyer and leaps off of the roof as zombies try to claw at them. They are floating in the air thousands of feet above the ground.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Noooooo!
Panel 4: A doorway in space and time opens with light shining all around it, right in front of them.
Panel 5: The door closes and they disappear as zombies leap off the roof to catch them.
End of Part 8
Splash panel: Robot and Destroyer running down the steps of the front porch. Destroyer looks giddy and excited, almost like a kid on Christmas morning. Robot has a golf bag over his shoulder, filled with golf clubs, bats, several guns, swords, just go crazy with weapons. He is handing a bat to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Let me get this right. I have to sacrifice a whole bunch of zombies to the gods?
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Pretty much.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: That’s kind of against my religion.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Let me put it this way. You’re going to get the chance to kill hundreds, maybe thousands, of zombies in every way you have ever dreamed of killing them.
Zoom in panel: Robot’s hand-off of the bat to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: You talked me into it. Now hand me that fucking bat.
Page 2
Panel 1: Destroyer is in a baseball stance, wiggling the bat and getting ready to swing as we see Robot behind him.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: And what religion are you, anyway?
Panel 2: Destroyer is swinging as hard as he can, which is pretty hard, and is really concentrating. He is knocking the head of a zombie off with blood spraying everywhere.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: You know I was raised Catholic.
Panel 3: A really long, skinny panel. I see this one between the first two, in the center of the page. It should show the house and stick figures of Robot, Destroyer, and zombies. We should see the head flying very fast and very far.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I would like to go to a church where they let you speak in tongues and handle snakes.
WORD BALLOON
ZOMBIE: Hargggggggggggg!
Panel 4: Robot is screaming at Destroyer so that he remembers to dedicate his sacrifice to the gods.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Yes, because it really makes sense from a faith perspective to allow venomous snakes to bit you. Now dedicate your kill, asshole!
Panel 5: Destroyer yelling back as he hits another zombie on the top of the head, causing it’s eyeballs to explode and brains to come out of his mouth.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, this zombie’s death is for your glory. Happy? And who are you to tell me how to celebrate my special relationship with the Creator?
Page 3
Panel 1: Destroyer is lifting the bat between another zombie’s legs, destroying its balls. He looks as happy as he ever has in his entire life.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I destroy your balls for Zeus!
Panel 2: Destroyer yelling for a golf club. The zombie has dropped down to all fours and is throwing up blood.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Hey, this is fun! Throw me a golf club.
Panel 3: Robot looking embarrassed as he tosses Destroyer a 9 iron.
Panel 4: Destroyer preparing a golf swing.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Hallowed Zeus, do you love golf as much as I do?
Panel 5: Giant swing, like a hockey slap shot, as the head flies at us, screaming and mouth spraying blood.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Because that one is for you, big guy.
WORD BALLOON
ZOMBIE: Bwwwwwwaaaaa!
Panel 6: Robot watching the head goes off into the distance.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I see you overcame your religious issues pretty quickly. Nice distance.
Page 4
Panel 1: Robot is revving a chainsaw. Destroyer is looking back at him. They are about five feet apart.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Throw me that thing.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I’ll just hand it to you.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Just throw it, you fuck!
SFX: REV! REV! VROOM!
Panel 2: Robot tosses the chainsaw to Destroyer.
Panel 3: Who, of course, misses it and it cuts off his right hand, spraying blood everywhere.
SFX: Zzzzzzt!
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: AARRRH! You did that on fucking purpose!
Panel 4: Robot throws a beer to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Think fast, asshole!
Panel 5: The beer bounces off of Destroyer’s mask as he tries to catch it with his bloody stump.
SFX: THUNK!
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: What the…
Page 5
Multiple small action panels: Destroyer opens the beer with his good hand. It foams and explodes, right in a zombie’s face. As he drinks the beer, he picks up the chainsaw and severs the zombie’s head.
2 larger panels on the bottom
Panel 1: Destroyer yelling to Robot as he throws the chainsaw right through a zombie’s head, splitting it in half, with brains and gore going everywhere. We can see Destroyer’s hand growing back slowly over the next few panels.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: That one is, again, for Zeus. Hey, Doltron, are you just going to sit there?
Panel 2: Robot is throwing a grenade launcher to Destroyer.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I don’t have a soul, so I can’t make sacrifices. Catch this, if you can.
Page 6
Panel 1: Tall, skinny panel that shows a ton of zombies coming across the field toward Robot’s house. Smaller figures of Robot and Destroyer, as well as the dead bodies of zombies all around them.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, for all you do…
Panel 2: Heroic action shot of Destroyer firing a bunch of grenades.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: these blown-up real good zombies are for you.
Multiple panels: Many zombies exploding. Heads, arms, legs, bodies – whatever dreams you have ever had of illustrating zombies dying from grenades, use them here and go wild.
Page 7
Panel 1: Zombies in various states of smoking, flaming death are staggering around as Robot and Destroyer run down the steps toward a car.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Let’s find more of these to kill.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Not that I’m complaining, but when is enough death enough?
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: You’ll know when you find out.
Panel 2: Robot holds up the keys to the car.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: And to be nice, you can even drive. Promise me this won’t end up like last time.
Panel 3: Destroyer looking innocent, but he is covered in blood and gore.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I swear that it will not end up like last time.
Panel 4: The car zooms out at high speed. Robot looks concerned. He has his seatbelt on, but obviously, Destroyer doesn’t. As they are pulling out, they hit a zombie and he is sprayed all over the front of the car.
Page 8
Panel 1: Inside the car, we see Destroyer driving and Robot yelling. The windshield is completely blocked with blood and gore.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: This is going to be exactly like last time!
Panel 2: Same panel, but now the wipers have cleaned some of the blood.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Didn’t I fucking promise you?
Panel 3: The car runs right over a zombie, spraying more gore everywhere.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, I hope you enjoyed that, because my friend is worried about his car, so that was the last one I’ll hit with this fine automobile.
Panel 4: Destroyer talking as he drives. This needs to be a bigger panel to accommodate all of the dialogue. We see this through Robot’s POV.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Why are we fighting zombies all the time now? Do you remember when ninjas were hot? I hated that shit. Always getting stabbed with arrows and swords. Ridiculous. Now, ninja zombies. That would fucking suck.
ROBOT SCREEN
MUTE MODE ACTIVATED
INITIATING SLEEP SEQUENCE IN 3.2.1
Page 9
Panel 1: The car is pulling up to a major downtown area. We can see zombies everywhere, all around the car, as they are destroying and milling about many landmarks, like a fake Starbucks, McDonald’s, a movie theater, etc. A helicopter can be seen in the skyline.
CAPTION
A few miles and many f-bombs later…
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: I’ve always wanted to do this!
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Zzzz…what?!?
Panel 2: Destroyer is holding a gun and driving. He looks very proud of himself.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Shoot and drive, bitch.
Panel 3: Robot is trying to stop him.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: Do you not understand physics? Ballistics? No!
Small panel 4-6: First panel is heroic, with Destroyer firing the gun. In the next, he realizes that something is wrong. In the next, I want to convey that shooting the gun has made his arm fly backwards and affected his driving. Obviously, firing a gun with major kick can do that (like, let’s say, a Ruger Superblackhawk). This is my commentary on people always firing guns while they drive in movies and comics. I hate that shit!
SFX: BLAM!
Small panel 7: The car swerves and wrecks right into the Starbucks.
SFX: KA-CRASH!
Page 10
Panel 1: The zombies are all staring into the smoking husk of the Starbucks. A car tire is on the ground and smoke is everywhere.
Small panel in between these panels: The helicopter, with a cameraman hanging out of it.
Panel 2: Similar panel, but with Robot and Destroyer jumping out of the hole in the side of the building. Destroyer looks happy as hell to be where he is, Robot looks pissed off.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: Everyone one of you zombie fucks is dead and it’s all for the number one god up there on Mount Olympus, my man Zeus!
Page 11
Panel 1: A TV monitor on a satellite that looks suspiciously like the old 70s JLA era. There are numerous versions of Ultiman walking around (like the Superman robots in the Fortress of Solitude). We only see them from afar, not in focus, to set up the big reveal in panel 4. On the TV is Destroyer ripping off a zombie’s head with his bare hands.
WORD BALLOON
TV: …where downtown, we see what appears to be former Super Police member The Destroyer viciously assaulting several undead people…
Panel 2: We zoom in tighter into the monitor, where we see Destroyer using two cars to smash a zombie’s head.
WORD BALLOON
TV: We urge our more sensitive viewers to look away from this scene.
Panel 3: And in the final monitor shot, Destroyer has multiple zombies’ heads inside a car door and is repeatedly slamming the door shut, spaying himself with a fountain of blood.
WORD BALLOON
TV: I think I can read his lips. It looks like, you fucking pud…oh, sorry, we’re on network? Oh Jesus, my career…
Panel 4: Large panel, revealing Ultiman. He looks as pissed off as a person can ever get. He is crunching his fingers into the arms of his throne as he sits and watches the monitor. The many identical robots around him all look very concerned.
WORD BALLOON
ULTIMAN: Those are…were…human beings. That…that…thing. I’ve let him go for now. But this…this is…this is intolerable.
Page 12
Panel 1: Large panel of Robot and Destroyer on top of a giant skyscraper. There are zombies coming out of a stairwell behind them, the helicopter overhead, and zombies climbing up the building as they form a giant undead human tower. Destroyer is kicking a zombie off of the skyscraper as Robot is holding a zombie above his head.
CAPTION
Even more F-bombs and gratuitous gore later…
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Zeus, I swear, this is the last one…
Panel 2: Robot and Destroyer start running across the rooftop as zombies begin to spill over from every side, overtaking the roof. Robot is looking at a readout on his wrist.
WORD BALLOON
ROBOT: I didn’t think it would take so long. But, seeing as how they are undead, I can understand why. Oh, get ready to jump off the roof.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Jump off the roof?
Panel 3: Robot grabs Destroyer and leaps off of the roof as zombies try to claw at them. They are floating in the air thousands of feet above the ground.
WORD BALLOON
DESTROYER: Noooooo!
Panel 4: A doorway in space and time opens with light shining all around it, right in front of them.
Panel 5: The door closes and they disappear as zombies leap off the roof to catch them.
End of Part 8
posted by Shirley Doe at
7:47 AM
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