Adventures of the World’s Angriest Robot Part 6 - Born Too Slow
Page 1
Large splash panel, with the Death King raising his gigantic weapon over his head, about to strike Destroyer with it. Destroyer is still cut in half, and his face is a mix of anger, pain, and slight fear, but we should have the feeling that he has kind of made his peace with getting killed. He is yelling something, so his face can look pretty strained. Robot is leaning against the wall, watching with a kind of bemused glee. There should be a generous amount of zombie gore strewn through the room to give the idea that there has been a major battle over the last few parts.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Bring it on, you bony fuck.”
Page 2
Panels 1-3 – Death King is swinging his weapon down toward Destroyer. We see the point of view from the bottom, almost as if we, as the viewer, are staring right at the sword coming down toward us.
Panel 4 – Close-up of Destroyer’s face. He should look pretty worried; pretty much imagine how you’d feel to literally stare death in the face and know that the end was here.
Panel 5 – As the weapon meets Destroyer, it passes right through him. Death King is putting everything he has into his attack, so he should appear like he is really doing the kill stroke. Robot is giggling to himself in the corner of the room.
Page 3
Panel 1-3 – Destroyer should have his eyes closed, then open in the next panel, realizing he’s not dead. By the third panel, he should have a better idea of what has happened, but he’s still somewhat confused. He opens his mouth to express his lack of awareness of what is going on.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Care to explain what is going on?”
Panel 4 – Robot is laughing, as begins to tell us what is happening.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Welcome to the five-and-a-half minute hallway. Not only does it connect nearly every reality, but it operates by its own laws.”
Page 4
Panel 1 – Robot is pointing at Death King, who is swinging is weapon wildly and freaking out.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Since we came in three minutes before this guy, he exists three minutes before us. We can see him, he can see us. But we’re all ghosts. And now, we have a three minute head start on him.”
Panel 2 – Destroyer is yelling, angry and even more confused now.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “That doesn’t even make any sense at all, ever.”
Panel 3-4 – Robot is speaking, using his hands to illustrate his point, drawing a straight line with his fingers in the air.
WORD BALLON
Robot: “It’s simple. No matter how slow or fast you walk, this hallway always takes exactly 330 seconds to walk through. And we’re currently 180 seconds ahead of this personification of death.”
Panel 5 – Death King is screaming, incredulous at this turn of events.
WORD BALLOON
Death King: “I agree, this makes absolutely no sense. But I swear, I will kill you both…”
Page 5
Panel 1 – Robot is tossing Destroyer a bottle of whiskey from the alternate dimension that he just ran through. As the bottle flies through the air, we notice it looks similar to a Jack Daniel’s bottle, but the logo is a combination of a rebel flag and a Nazi flag, with an eagle holding lightning in its hands above the flag.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Do what you do best. Drink up.”
Panel 2 – Destroyer catches the bottle. He looks pretty weak and needing a drink.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “You had to get me whiskey from an evil empire?”
Panel 3 – Robot is creating a hologram in the air with his eyes. He’s scanning the numerous realities that make up the hallway. We can read some of them:
Reality Code Difference from Prime Reality
1.20.23 Johnny Carson 38th President of United States
3.21.99 Pepsi never invented
9.88.00 Cavemen still exist
3.11.01 John Lennon survives
2.40.04 Planet X
8.77.11 Plain of Idavoll
19.20.5 Tommy Westphall’s living room
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “It was all I could find at the time. That said, it’s one of the few realities where you can find 290 proof alcohol.”
Panel 4 – Destroyer is chugging the whiskey, which is pouring all over his mask and chest. He’s making an absolute mess of things.
SFX: GLUG, GLUG, GLUG
Panel 5 – Robot selects one of the options and a door starts glowing.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Knit your spine together and let’s get the fuck out of here before asshole here shows up.”
Page 6
Panel 1 – Destroyer is holding his spinal cord together with his hands. We can see that more of his guts, for lack of a better word, have started to grow back due to the alcohol activating his super powers. This, however, is extremely painful.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “FUCK!”
Panel 2 – Destroyer looks down and notices that he has put his legs on backwards. His ass is now where his crotch should be. He looks completely infuriated.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “MAN! FUCK!”
Panel 3 – Robot almost falls over laughing, just doubled over in hysterics.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Oh, now I have seen it all. That’s the fucking topper.”
Panel 4 – Destroyer is ripping his spinal column back in half, screaming as he does it.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “You know, ARRRGRGGGGHHH, the humor here is lost on, ARGRGGGGG, me…”
Panel 5 – Robot is pointing his fingertip, which is glowing, at Destroyer. We see both of them in this panel.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Aw, man, thanks, this does need cauterized.”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “This isn’t a laser. It’s my digital camera finger.”
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “I WILL PISS IN YOUR METAL SKULL!”
Page 7
Panel 1 – Robot is yelling back at him, but still laughing.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Can you stand up now, baby? Is your widdle spine all fixed?”
Panel 2-4 – Destroyer tries to stand up and throw a punch, but he’s still paralyzed from the waist down, as the nerves have not fully healed yet. He collapses in a pile.
Panel 5 – Robot is staring at Destroyer, lying face down on the ground.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Get your laughs now, Gort.”
Page 8
Panel 1 – Robot throws Destroyer over his shoulder, as Destroyer is yelling at him. He’s just about raving now he’s so angry.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “When these legs work again, this foot and your metal ass are gonna teleconference!”
Panel 2 – They walk right through Death King, as if he were a ghost.
Panel 3 – Death King has totally lost it, shouting threats and spewing venom.
WORD BALLOON
Death King: “These are the hands that strangled Odizeun’s final gasps. And I take oath now, they will do the same to both of you.”
Panel 4 – Robot sneaks up behind Death King’s ear.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “I don’t breathe. I’m a robot. A robot who thinks you’re fucking pedantic.”
Page 9
Panel 1 – Robot opens the glowing door slightly.
Panel 2 – But instead of entering it, he enters a door further down the hallway.
Panel 3 – 180 seconds later, Death King shows up for real, not just his past time projection, in the hallway. He scans the hallway, swinging his weapon wildly, shattering doors. He sees the glowing door.
Panel 4 – Death King walks confidently through the growing door.
Page 10
A full page here, which should be a combination of the Ditko Dr. Strange dimensional look with Kirby’s New Gods/late Thor photomontages. Just a mix of planets, shapes, energy – what you would imagine the doorway between dimensions and planes of reality to look like. I’m even thinking of some strange animals swimming through the timestream, just pure surrealism. Robot and Destroyer are floating through. Robot looks confident, as he has done this many times before and is almost floating, while Destroyer looks scared shitless. He looks like his world is falling apart all around him, which, to tell the truth it is.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “AHHH! AHHH!”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Calm down. It’s just the space between time. Not a big deal.”
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “There’s a fucking fish skeleton floating and staring at me. IT’S STARING RIGHT AT ME!”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “You have to just free your mind when surfing reality.”
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “I’m about to free a dump in my fucking pants if this shit keeps up.”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Am I going to have to get my digital camera?”
Page 11
Panel 1 – Destroyer is calming down, now floating a bit easier through the ether of reality.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Focus. Focus. Dude, umm…where is that death guy?”
Panel 2 – Robot is plotting a course on his hologram screen.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “The dead love shiny things. I banked on that.”
Panel 3 – 329 dimensions away, we see Death King coming through the doorway.
Panel 4 – And suddenly, he is in another reality filled with cartoon characters. They should be cute, cuddly, and singing. Rabbits, cats, dogs, all with human characteristics like a Warner Brothers cartoon.
WORD BALLOONS
Sung by characters: “Where have you gone again my sweet? Everybody wants to know.”
Panel 5 – Death King slices one of their heads off, laughing.
Page 12
Panel 1 – The cartoon character reaches down and puts his head back on and starts singing, dancing, and laughing again.
WORD BALLOON
Character singing: “I'm just a ghost, I’m on your street. Waitin', when you comin' home?”
Panel 2 – Death King spins to head back for the doorway.
Panel 3 – But as he turns, he notices that a big cartoon cat has devoured the door, stranding him.
Panel 4 – Death King is screaming in frustration.
WORD BALLOON
Death King: “EVERYONE DIES!”
Panel 5 – Destroyer is laughing as he floats through the reality stream.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Har har har, you sent him to a cartoon world? Well, where are we going, anyways?”
Panel 6 – Close-up of Robot’s face.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “We’re going to visit the gods.”
Large splash panel, with the Death King raising his gigantic weapon over his head, about to strike Destroyer with it. Destroyer is still cut in half, and his face is a mix of anger, pain, and slight fear, but we should have the feeling that he has kind of made his peace with getting killed. He is yelling something, so his face can look pretty strained. Robot is leaning against the wall, watching with a kind of bemused glee. There should be a generous amount of zombie gore strewn through the room to give the idea that there has been a major battle over the last few parts.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Bring it on, you bony fuck.”
Page 2
Panels 1-3 – Death King is swinging his weapon down toward Destroyer. We see the point of view from the bottom, almost as if we, as the viewer, are staring right at the sword coming down toward us.
Panel 4 – Close-up of Destroyer’s face. He should look pretty worried; pretty much imagine how you’d feel to literally stare death in the face and know that the end was here.
Panel 5 – As the weapon meets Destroyer, it passes right through him. Death King is putting everything he has into his attack, so he should appear like he is really doing the kill stroke. Robot is giggling to himself in the corner of the room.
Page 3
Panel 1-3 – Destroyer should have his eyes closed, then open in the next panel, realizing he’s not dead. By the third panel, he should have a better idea of what has happened, but he’s still somewhat confused. He opens his mouth to express his lack of awareness of what is going on.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Care to explain what is going on?”
Panel 4 – Robot is laughing, as begins to tell us what is happening.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Welcome to the five-and-a-half minute hallway. Not only does it connect nearly every reality, but it operates by its own laws.”
Page 4
Panel 1 – Robot is pointing at Death King, who is swinging is weapon wildly and freaking out.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Since we came in three minutes before this guy, he exists three minutes before us. We can see him, he can see us. But we’re all ghosts. And now, we have a three minute head start on him.”
Panel 2 – Destroyer is yelling, angry and even more confused now.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “That doesn’t even make any sense at all, ever.”
Panel 3-4 – Robot is speaking, using his hands to illustrate his point, drawing a straight line with his fingers in the air.
WORD BALLON
Robot: “It’s simple. No matter how slow or fast you walk, this hallway always takes exactly 330 seconds to walk through. And we’re currently 180 seconds ahead of this personification of death.”
Panel 5 – Death King is screaming, incredulous at this turn of events.
WORD BALLOON
Death King: “I agree, this makes absolutely no sense. But I swear, I will kill you both…”
Page 5
Panel 1 – Robot is tossing Destroyer a bottle of whiskey from the alternate dimension that he just ran through. As the bottle flies through the air, we notice it looks similar to a Jack Daniel’s bottle, but the logo is a combination of a rebel flag and a Nazi flag, with an eagle holding lightning in its hands above the flag.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Do what you do best. Drink up.”
Panel 2 – Destroyer catches the bottle. He looks pretty weak and needing a drink.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “You had to get me whiskey from an evil empire?”
Panel 3 – Robot is creating a hologram in the air with his eyes. He’s scanning the numerous realities that make up the hallway. We can read some of them:
Reality Code Difference from Prime Reality
1.20.23 Johnny Carson 38th President of United States
3.21.99 Pepsi never invented
9.88.00 Cavemen still exist
3.11.01 John Lennon survives
2.40.04 Planet X
8.77.11 Plain of Idavoll
19.20.5 Tommy Westphall’s living room
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “It was all I could find at the time. That said, it’s one of the few realities where you can find 290 proof alcohol.”
Panel 4 – Destroyer is chugging the whiskey, which is pouring all over his mask and chest. He’s making an absolute mess of things.
SFX: GLUG, GLUG, GLUG
Panel 5 – Robot selects one of the options and a door starts glowing.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Knit your spine together and let’s get the fuck out of here before asshole here shows up.”
Page 6
Panel 1 – Destroyer is holding his spinal cord together with his hands. We can see that more of his guts, for lack of a better word, have started to grow back due to the alcohol activating his super powers. This, however, is extremely painful.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “FUCK!”
Panel 2 – Destroyer looks down and notices that he has put his legs on backwards. His ass is now where his crotch should be. He looks completely infuriated.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “MAN! FUCK!”
Panel 3 – Robot almost falls over laughing, just doubled over in hysterics.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Oh, now I have seen it all. That’s the fucking topper.”
Panel 4 – Destroyer is ripping his spinal column back in half, screaming as he does it.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “You know, ARRRGRGGGGHHH, the humor here is lost on, ARGRGGGGG, me…”
Panel 5 – Robot is pointing his fingertip, which is glowing, at Destroyer. We see both of them in this panel.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Aw, man, thanks, this does need cauterized.”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “This isn’t a laser. It’s my digital camera finger.”
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “I WILL PISS IN YOUR METAL SKULL!”
Page 7
Panel 1 – Robot is yelling back at him, but still laughing.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Can you stand up now, baby? Is your widdle spine all fixed?”
Panel 2-4 – Destroyer tries to stand up and throw a punch, but he’s still paralyzed from the waist down, as the nerves have not fully healed yet. He collapses in a pile.
Panel 5 – Robot is staring at Destroyer, lying face down on the ground.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Get your laughs now, Gort.”
Page 8
Panel 1 – Robot throws Destroyer over his shoulder, as Destroyer is yelling at him. He’s just about raving now he’s so angry.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “When these legs work again, this foot and your metal ass are gonna teleconference!”
Panel 2 – They walk right through Death King, as if he were a ghost.
Panel 3 – Death King has totally lost it, shouting threats and spewing venom.
WORD BALLOON
Death King: “These are the hands that strangled Odizeun’s final gasps. And I take oath now, they will do the same to both of you.”
Panel 4 – Robot sneaks up behind Death King’s ear.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “I don’t breathe. I’m a robot. A robot who thinks you’re fucking pedantic.”
Page 9
Panel 1 – Robot opens the glowing door slightly.
Panel 2 – But instead of entering it, he enters a door further down the hallway.
Panel 3 – 180 seconds later, Death King shows up for real, not just his past time projection, in the hallway. He scans the hallway, swinging his weapon wildly, shattering doors. He sees the glowing door.
Panel 4 – Death King walks confidently through the growing door.
Page 10
A full page here, which should be a combination of the Ditko Dr. Strange dimensional look with Kirby’s New Gods/late Thor photomontages. Just a mix of planets, shapes, energy – what you would imagine the doorway between dimensions and planes of reality to look like. I’m even thinking of some strange animals swimming through the timestream, just pure surrealism. Robot and Destroyer are floating through. Robot looks confident, as he has done this many times before and is almost floating, while Destroyer looks scared shitless. He looks like his world is falling apart all around him, which, to tell the truth it is.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “AHHH! AHHH!”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Calm down. It’s just the space between time. Not a big deal.”
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “There’s a fucking fish skeleton floating and staring at me. IT’S STARING RIGHT AT ME!”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “You have to just free your mind when surfing reality.”
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “I’m about to free a dump in my fucking pants if this shit keeps up.”
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “Am I going to have to get my digital camera?”
Page 11
Panel 1 – Destroyer is calming down, now floating a bit easier through the ether of reality.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Focus. Focus. Dude, umm…where is that death guy?”
Panel 2 – Robot is plotting a course on his hologram screen.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “The dead love shiny things. I banked on that.”
Panel 3 – 329 dimensions away, we see Death King coming through the doorway.
Panel 4 – And suddenly, he is in another reality filled with cartoon characters. They should be cute, cuddly, and singing. Rabbits, cats, dogs, all with human characteristics like a Warner Brothers cartoon.
WORD BALLOONS
Sung by characters: “Where have you gone again my sweet? Everybody wants to know.”
Panel 5 – Death King slices one of their heads off, laughing.
Page 12
Panel 1 – The cartoon character reaches down and puts his head back on and starts singing, dancing, and laughing again.
WORD BALLOON
Character singing: “I'm just a ghost, I’m on your street. Waitin', when you comin' home?”
Panel 2 – Death King spins to head back for the doorway.
Panel 3 – But as he turns, he notices that a big cartoon cat has devoured the door, stranding him.
Panel 4 – Death King is screaming in frustration.
WORD BALLOON
Death King: “EVERYONE DIES!”
Panel 5 – Destroyer is laughing as he floats through the reality stream.
WORD BALLOON
Destroyer: “Har har har, you sent him to a cartoon world? Well, where are we going, anyways?”
Panel 6 – Close-up of Robot’s face.
WORD BALLOON
Robot: “We’re going to visit the gods.”
posted by Shirley Doe at
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